I woke up today feeling both refreshed and tired after a 12-hour sleep from the previous night. Some may say graduating from university is liberating, but I guess for me, the panic set right in. Where are my directions, what do I do, what can I do. The fact that I don’t have to worry about schoolwork, projects, deadlines and nasty groupmates is both carefree yet restrictive. I’m ashamed to say that I have extremely ugly thoughts in my head, but I’m sure that’s just me. Or the time of the month.
I realize I don’t update anymore of such thought-provoking (at least for me) entries. I reckon its because I don’t see them fitting in anywhere in this blog, which is centered on happy topics like to-die-for blushers and the latest kawaii product from Candy Doll (have you seen their base makeup line yet?). It kills my OCD to pen down such words, because in my mind, I have a specific time and a specific place for things to go. Here on my blog, it evolved from just a word-only space, to an a-picture-a-post thing, and finally I find myself yakking about cosmetics. Sometimes I think to myself ‘who the heck are you to write about such things when you don’t even know how to draw your eyeliner’ or ‘what purpose does your blog serve really’ and get extremely discouraged. Again, the perfectionist streak surfaces and I get demotivated by my very self. The question of identity and purpose is always present, both on the blog, and in my life.
And I’m thoroughly embarrassed at this emotional outburst. Before I ramble on any further, shall go change and head out for some yummy chicken wings from Sunset Grill. Have a good one everybody, will be back for DAY 7 of PROJECT: ABAD.