I love hot showers; the hotter the better. Now that the night air creeps in around my feet and chills the heart, I love how my skin feels to the touch after I step out of the steamy bathroom. Warm, but not so warm, and before I knew it, I was already feeling cold.

It would kill me if I had to shower in cold water, the kind that you only get after a heavy downpour, and not the i-forgot-to-switch-on-the-heater type. Of course, during the recent heatwave, I had to contend with lukewarm-to-cool water as it is. Though when my heater broke down, you bet I was really considering going to beg my neighbors for a quick shower; with the heater on most definitely! My skin plays a trick on me every change of weather, too hot, it flushes; too cold, it pales. The woes of having environmentally-challenged skin I suppose, haha.

I was thinking of what would I be able to come up with for this space of mine while I was luxuriating under the pelt of hot rain. There’s always this nagging feeling at the back of my head that goes ‘update your blog! update your blog!’. Perhaps it has to do with my inability live with loose ends in my life – in the case of the blog, it’s either I close it down or continue generating good posts (though my ‘good’ doesn’t equate literacy merit!). I think I should continue banging away here as it gives me pleasure to write, a sensual satisfaction if I should strike a chord in some stranger’s heart with whatever whims I chose to act upon. Though I guess I really should stop confusing the mainstream thoughts with side-quests of yummylicious foods and cheap+good skincare, haha.

Anyhow, that flaw in me that absolutely refuses to have to live another second undecided has given me serious problems in the matters of the heart. How to choose, what to choose, when to choose, so many questions and how does one answer them all? I should have learnt that people have their own different paces in life, invisible tempos that they step to only when they choose, and not hurried. Perhaps by quenching the fire in my heart when I demanded for an answer was the only way to salvage certain regrets I still harbor till today, though the time was long past for forgiveness.

Sleep well, and sweetest dreams in this chilly night. May your pillow feel soft to your cheek as you press against that familiar stinky scent, *winks*

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