I wished G had said something mean to me, so that I would stop feeling so miserable. I guess many of you would know how it feels to have done something so terribly wrong, but you get forgiveness / complete understanding instead of a huge scolding.

Not that I cheated on him (that will never quite happen, but never say never), but I lost one side of the pair of diamond earrings he gave me for our first Valentine’s Day. The stupid me just put the earrings into the LV pochette in my hurry to get into the car to keep the driver from waiting, and plain forgot about it. What’s worst was, the pochette being really old and would come unzipped due to the strap, and my earrings could have fell out anytime. I called the Hotel where we had our CNY dinner at, and they said they didn’t receive anything at Lost&Found. Thus I fear I may have accidentally thrown it away together with the angbaos, how stupid right?

After I told G about it, he didn’t scold me for being careless, neither did he start berating me and telling me to go search properly again. He merely laughed and said something like: “it’s okay, just think of it as swapping away bad luck”. I couldn’t believe my own ears, I was ready to go bash my head on the wall had he even kidded about it. I was so guilty that I wanted to run to the nearest branch and buy the exact same pair of earrings, just so to not make him feel that I did not treasure his gift / did not like it in the 1st place.

G then anxiously asked me about our ring. I have no doubt that he would get real upset / mad at me if I misplaced our couple ring (which is significantly cheaper than the earrings) instead of my earrings. After assuring him that it’s still on my finger (I keep it on 24/7), he laughed it off and said: “it’s okay to lose the earrings, just as long as I don’t lose you”.

Now I feel like just squatting in one corner and cry.

As I was typing this, the MacD guy came to the door and gave me a Latte. G ordered it for me as he knew I would be staying up despite my tiredness / headache from the sinus to study for my ProComm exam tomorrow. And I know that right now he would be reading his manga or watching YouTube videos while waiting for me to be done studying so that he could sleep at the same time as I did.

I really wonder how he could love me the way he does despite me being such an ugly person. Not superficial ugly per se (though if anyone wants to look at it that way, fine), but I certainly am no angel.

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